Horrific Movies News and Reviews

House of The Dead

2011-10-24T18:34:00.000-07:00

In this horrible adaptation of the once popular Sega arcade video game of the same name, director Uwe Boll's action horror effort finds a group of partying teens stranded on an island and doing battle with a new breed of unusually mobile zombies. Looking for a place to party away spring break, college students Cynthia (Sonya Salomaa), Greg (Will Sanderson), and Karma (Enuka Okuma) hear rumors of a rave on a remote island in the Seattle area. What they find instead id a bunch of lame looking Zombies who look as though they went to the Spirit Halloween Store for their costumes. Not that Spirit has bad costumes; it is just that this bunch of losers made them look bad.

What can I say about one of the worst movies ever made. Well… There is a cute chick in stars and stripes leotards that karate kicks ass until she gets eaten buy Zombies. Jurgon Prochnow shoots Clint Howard in the head. (something I bet Ron has wanted to do for years) This Movie signaled the slow demise of Jonathon Cherry’s career. Oh and I guess Ona Grauer kicking ass in a tube top with a battle axe was pretty cool.

Otherwise this was the most poorly written and choreographed film adaptation/zombie flick/horror movie ever made. I knew I was in trouble when shots from the game were interspersed through the movie as a special effect vehicle. That did not work in more ways than you could imagine.
House of The Dead is the kind of movie you should get your buddies and lots of beer over to heckle for eighty seven minutes.

House of The Dead should be forclosed on!!

Paranormal Activity 3

2011-10-23T18:02:00.000-07:00

Paranormal Activity 3

Henry Joost, Ariel Schulman direct and Oren Peli and Christopher B Landon write for us the latest prequel in the Paranormal Activity franchise. And all I got to say is this is definitely the best of all three. The frights are more intense, the jumps higher, and the added bit of humor here and there catch you off guard and make for a really intense 90 minute tightening of the abs, wringing of the hands and clenching of the buttocks.

Here’s how it all goes down.. We get a brief return of adult Katie and Christie. Katie leaves a box of videos from their Grandmother. From that we, the peeping toms of their horrificly haunted lives, get is to find some answers(via found footage), as to what is terrorizing them and the answers are not what I expected.

I think it would be impossible to watch Paranormal Activity Three without falling prey to the jumps and starts. The two young girls in the film are excellent at portraying people who are mystified, curious, and terrified by what is happening to them.

Christopher Smith who plays the live in boyfriend of the girl’s mother, played by Lauren Bittner, does an excellent job of assisting to build the tension by being the videographer of the household. A wedding video producer by trade, he along with everyone else, gets more than what he expects when trying to capture a ghost on film in a little house in Santa Rosa Ca.

As I said, this is Activity the best of all three. The first two paranormal activity movies I watched alone, in the bottom of my house at two in the morning. I should mention that on both occasions, my wife snuck up and scared the crap out of me. (If I did that I’d be talking about my exwife). Anyway, this time I got to see the flick in a crowded theatre which made it more fun listening to others jump and scream. Guys were the worst. Yes I said it, ya buncha babies!

Over all I would have to say that Paranormal Activity 3 was well worth the price of admission. I would also like to add that way back in the first movie, they left it open for sequels so don’t be surprised if…..

Transformers Dark of the Moon

2011-07-08T16:33:00.000-07:00

I just watched Transformers, Dark Of The Moon and thought it was great. It delivered exactly as it was billed, a movie about Robots battling each other for control of earth. Not just any robots though, robots that can change themselves into cars, truck planes or whatever else lets them mix in with our mechanical world.

I was not looking for character development, back story on the new love of Sam’s life, or even the motivations of the bad guys. I wanted a spectacular mess of metal snakes that eat and destroy skyscrapers while conventional trucks transform into jet packing, missile launching shielded mechanical giants who sound like Barry White on a bad day.

So what I am saying here is that if you want to have two and a half hours or so of a fun filled assault to your senses, just what this movie and it’s producers purport it to be, then go see Transformers, Dark Of The Moon. If you want character development, heartfelt love and triumph of everyday life, go see Larry Crown.

Toons Tunes University: BIG music video!

2011-07-08T12:15:00.000-07:00

u rock sk8r man

Super 8

2011-06-21T22:03:00.000-07:00

Hey ya'll,
Just saw Super 8 and was very happy with what I saw. We had action, creativity, character connection and a gruesome alien seemingly bent on eating, alive, every human he could get his claws into.

JJ Abrams, creator of such fun fare as Lost and one of my favorites, Fringe, wrote and directed this excellent period piece of seventies retro sci-fi.

A group of young teens are filming a zombie film for a contest. Inadvertently they end up on the wrong side of a huge train wreck and find themselves entrenched in a mystery and targets of evil military guys and in search of answers they may not want the answers to.

Super 8 has all the makings of a B Movie with A movies special effects, writing acting and flow. The kids in the film are believable as much as kids taking on an alien force and an apparently evil faction of the US Armed Forces.

Super 8 is definatelyworth the time and money to to go see. it is one of those flicks that will do well on video, but it would be a shame to miss see it with an active audience. There are plenty of gotchas, jump ups and screams for all.

X-Men: First Class

2011-06-03T02:51:00.000-07:00

I have over a dozen DVD's on my shelf that are based on comic books from the last 15 years. In a drawer in my room there are several stacks of comic books in the protective sleeves. To say that I enjoy comics, is an understatement. As a film student, I see them as a great source of material with a built in audience. The studios would agree with me on that.

X-Men: First Class is a "Reboot" to the X-Men franchise is set to be the Summer Tentpole movie this year for Fox. And from what I saw, well deserved. The storyline was well orchestrated by Matthew Vaughn (who also directed Kick-Ass, which a sequel is in the works, and Star Dust a novel by Neil Gaiman) and the cast was terrific. This movie takes place before any of the other X-Men live action movies timeline and shows the chemistry between Brothers in Mutation Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier before they became adversaries.

There is plenty of action on all sides of the mutant/human lines complete with a climactic ending. Watch for plenty of familiar faces relating to both characters in the comics and actors playing roles they are good at. Giving little away about the story, I will say that there isn't anything after the credits, much to my dismay. This will mark the first in a long time of any comic related movie, especially a Marvel Movie, that doesn't have a lead in for a next movie. I often related that to the last page of a comic book where they give a blurb about what's in store for the loyal reader in the next issue. Normally I wouldn't advocate leaving the theater before the credits are done, cause one day I will be in those credits, but if you've gotta go, that's acceptable this time.

Get your popcorn ready, strap into your seats, and enjoy the ride. This movie isn't in the D-Box motion seats, but even without it this movie is a wild ride. This midnight screening was at the Cinema West theater in Livermore. For the summer, they will be having midnight screenings for most films coming out. The theater is really nice and is a bit less expensive compared to the other local theaters at $10 for a normal ticket.

The next movie I'll be reviewing will be in D-Box this summer. Super 8 directed by J.J. Abrams and produced by Steven Spielberg.

Enjoy the movies this summer, and beat the heat (we're not getting).

Movie Marathon at The Castro Theater with Midnite for Maniacs

2011-04-17T03:00:00.000-07:00

When Jesse Ficks programs a Marathon for Midnites for Maniacs, he's not skimping out on the celluloid, for sure! Last night's five movie marathon was by far no exception. Not only was the Castro Theater filled with movie fans, popcorn, and various other consumables, but there was a genuine Director and Actor Q & A after the screening of the 80's classic, Monster Squad with Director Fred Dekker and Actor Ryan Lambert, who played Rudy in the movie. That was only the second of the five movies, and by then the theater was raging with excitement from all the amazing trivia questions the Host, Jesse had prizes for. In his tenth year programming Midnites, He's sure gotten a lot of attention for the best of the overlooked movies of the last thirty plus years.

The Night started off with Heavy Metal, a four part adult animated movie with plenty of Metal Music to sink your teeth into. As mentioned before, Monster Squad was next, followed by a 30 minute Q & A with the director and actor. A short break before continuing was needed to stretch the legs and get some food at the nearby pizza joint, Marcello's Pizzaria. From there, the next movie was an amazingly rare print of This is Spinal Tap, which the 35mm print was flown in from France just for tonight's screening! I must mention that all of these movies were shown on the 35mm prints that Jesse had to search high and low to get. None of these were shown on a DVD player. After Spinal Tap, was the first of two movies that I had never seen before tonight: Trick or Treat with cameos by Gene Simons and Ozzy Osborne (in the role of a reverend no less). Rounding out the evening was a movie starring Alice Cooper in the movie Monster Dog.

Be sure to check out all the links to places I've posted for future screenings and other nearby foods, especially if you come out to the next marathon. In two weeks at another location, Jesse's Midnites for Maniacs will be hosting a series of 35mm trailers at the Roxy Theater for a fundraiser to keep that theater open! Ticket prices are as much as you want to donate and there will be an auction for movie memorabilia. At 9:30 there will be a secret movie played from another 35mm print.

This is Drew, signing off for a nap now. 11 hours of movies is great, but exhausting!

Vive Cinema!

Movie Review - Insidious

2011-04-02T00:06:00.000-07:00

The hairs on my arms stood up for the ending of this horrific tale of possession from the creative teams behind the Saw franchise and the Paranormal Activity (soon to be) trilogy. James Wan directed and Oren Peli is sited as producer on Insidious which is a story of a young boy who strangely falls into a coma and his family struggle to find out the cause of this bizarre occurrence. I enjoyed this movie understanding who was making it and who they were making it for.

It follows a similar story to the Paranormal movies but in a more narrative structure, adding in a much more elaborate set of possessor beings. The family is struggling to keep from tearing apart as the mother starts to see things that the husband/father seems to know nothing about. There's much more to that then the father, wonderfully played by Patrick Wilson, is leading on. He's a very strong character in this, although has much less to do with discovering the incidents. Rose Byrne, who plays the resilient mother, takes all things in stride to a point before calling in professional help. The secondary characters were believable too! I think the cast was well rounded for the movie.

The soundtrack was amazing too! It really kept me on the edge of my seat. It was a more traditional horror film with a very suspenseful strings section and often used spaces of no sound quite well.

Don't leave before the credits are over and you'll get a small tidbit. It's not much, but it's enough to re-raise the arm hairs a bit. Overall, I give this movie a three and a half arm hairs up out of five. For more, check out Imdb or ImdbPro.com

Movie Review - Battle:LA

2011-03-29T09:40:00.000-07:00

In my first viewing of Battle:LA I was expecting a great Science Fiction movie filled with amazing special FX. I wanted to see a lot of the alien technology. What I came out with wasn't that. That's not to say that you shouldn't go see it, in fact this is far from that. I say you go watch this more than once like I did. Yes the special FX were amazing. I even read an article on the models for the creatures in Make-Up Artist Magazine : Fractured Fantasy and Angry Aliens.

*Slight spoiler Alert*

What I did go see (more than once) is an amazingly crafted war movie that is politically correct in that our adversaries were not another human race of people. We were fighting against a race of aliens that landed just outside the coasts of several major cities. The alien's source of power was our ocean water. I have taken that as an analogy for our struggle with oil and the fight we continue to have to this day.

The movie starts of with us learning about all the main characters and what status in the military they have. We also find out who knows who. This sets up conflict amongst the unit later on. Finally, when the soldiers are put on the front line, each has to band together to fight off the common enemy for survival.

I think this was cast very well, the story was believable, and the resolution works and doesn't leave too many open ends for a sequel. Aaron Eckhart seems to be getting the "John Wayne" characters and pulling them off quite well. I was surprised to see Rapper-turned actor Ne-Yo in a toned down role much to go against stereotypes of Rapper/Actors like Eminem, Curtis "50 Cent" Jackson, and many others who use their movie roles to splay their music all over the soundtrack. He was very smart to keep the two separate.

Graceling - Kristin Cashore

2011-03-24T23:00:00.000-07:00

When choosing Graceling as a class read for school, I was making a choice based on the descriptions of each book given as options. This book intrigued me the most. Building a strong female character, coming into her own. And she has a special gift for fighting. Cool. Her world does not have guns or aircraft, but they have several Kingdoms on the brink of battle. The main character, Katsa, made it her decision to use her abilities for good instead of for destructive uses. I'm not going to spoil the story when I say that her using her abilities for good sets into motion the whole story. This story tells how Katsa goes on her journey not only for discovery of why someone is trying to pit the different Kingdoms against each other, but also her self-discovery of her true abilities.

As a Young Adult read, its not hard to follow and it also keeps both male & female readers interested. There is a significant mix of both fighting and romance here to make this 400 + page read captivating. Kristian Cashore tells in great visual descriptions both the characters and their environments that I can picture locations as I've read along. The power struggle in the story is believable for the world created. The outcast main character finding someone to connect with is relatable.

For an aspiring writer and film maker, this first novel from Kristin Cashore is really promising. I have also picked up her second book that accompanies Graceling entitled Fire, which I will also be reviewing.

The Thing Prequel

2010-12-05T15:02:00.000-08:00

At first the first thing I thought here that I see as wrong is the fact that someone thought was a good idea to do a prequel. Then I thought HOLY SHIT!! Are there no writers left in Hollywood? But then I thought about it and said to my self, self haven’t you ever wondered about the story of the Norwegians who were chasing the dog at the beginning of John Carpenter’s The Thing. Anyhoo, I got off my high horse and opened myself to the idea of a good prequel.

Matthijs van Heijningen Jr's The Thing prequel had confirmed release date of April 29, 2011 and images were surfacing online.

But due to unexplained circumstances The Thing prequel has been slapped with a "to-be-determined" date by Universal Studios and thus leaving us all in the dark. Maybe they are getting a bit afraid of the competition as Scream 4 is released next April as well. What?! Oh crap I just realized that if I’m gonna do this blog I will have to see Scream 4. NOOooooooooo! (in my best James Earl Jones screaming NOOooooooo!)

So some producer of hack prequels is afraid of some other producer of hack sequels? Oh my bad, maybe The Thing Prequel is not a hack job. We shall see.

Here is the layout of the flick. Of course it is Antarctica, home to an isolated outpost where scientists screwing around wake up an evil, ancient alien which has the ability to turn itself into a perfect replica of any living being. It can look just like you or me, but inside, it remains a vicious, flesh eating, gluttonous, freak of extraterrestrial nature. Kind of like the people at the department of motor vehicles.

Paleontologist, and chronic shlimazl, Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) has traveled to the desolate region for the expedition of her lifetime. Joining a Norwegian scientific team that has stumbled across an extraterrestrial ship buried in the ice, she discovers an organism that seems to have died in the crash eons ago. But it is about to wake up. When a simple experiment frees the alien from its frozen prison (OOPSIE), Kate must join the crew's pilot, Carter (Joel Edgerton), to keep it from killing them off one at a time. And in this vast, intense land, a parasite that can mimic anything it touches will pit human against human as it tries to survive and flourish. "

The Thing prequel is directed by Matthijs van Heijningen Jr and stars Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Joel Edgerton, Dennis Storhøi, Trond Espen Seim, Jørgen Langhelle, Jonathan Walker, Eric Christian Olsen, Jo Adrian Haavind, Stig Henrik Hoff, Jan Gunnar Røise and Kristofer Hivju.

Usually I hate the idea of prequels but I guess I will go out of my way to see this one.

Throw me some opinion rich comments about this and prequels in general.

Paranormal Activity 2

2010-10-24T16:17:00.001-07:00

WOW!! I just went and saw Paranormal Activity 2. It is a rainy Sunday afternoon and the crowd was just right for this kind of movie. Not so much a sequel as an accompaniment, the original, this movie packs quite a punch. I do not usually get scared when watching horror movies. Maybe I am desensitized, but I will tell you that Paranormal Activity 2 had me rockin on the edge of my seat.

Todd Williams does a great job as director of this tale a family besieged by an unknown terror. The tension builds a little slowly in the beginning then takes the viewer on pretty cool roller coaster ride of jumps and thrills.

A Family welcomes a new baby into their house. Soon after strang things begin to happen. When they return home one day to find the place has been trashed from top to bottom, they decide to have a security camera system installed. We as the audience get to view the odd and sometimes dangerous activities as voyeurs via the cameras.

I have seen some reviews that say Paranormal Activity 2 is just a rehash of the original. Not True, this movie has a whole different feel and underlying creepiness to it. The audience was audibly frightened and one couple had to leave. I think it was the girl who wanted to leave since I didn’t hear that screem from behind me anymore.

Anyhoo…I got scared, it shook me up, and had me thinking about it all the way to the parking lot. Paranormal Activity 2 stands on its own. If you haven’t seen the original, no problem! You can easily watch this one then go rent the original. Both flicks are worth your time and money.

Fright Night, An American Werewolf in London and The Evil Dead

2010-10-24T15:47:00.000-07:00

Hey Y’all, I went to the Midnites for Maniacs show at the Castro Theater in San Francisco California. What a freakin' Blast this was. If you’ve never been to the Castro Theatre then you are missing out. It is a classic old time movie house ornately decorated with tall pillars, frescos. An organ rises up and an old guy, name unknown, who plays wonderfully before and in between the films that are shown.

The show was hosted by Jesse Hawthorn Ficks who I know nothing about except that he is an instructor for my friend Drew Nevis. Oh Yeh, and Drew was at the show also, way cool.

The first Movie shown was Fright Night written and directed by Tom Holland and produced by Herb Jaffe. It stars Chris Sarandon, William Ragsdale, Amanda Bearse, Roddy McDowall, Stephen Geoffreys and Jonathan Stark.

Charley Brewster, average teen aged boy with average teenage girlfriend and freaky not average at all friend, discovers that his new next Jerry Dandridge, played by Chris Sarandon door neighbor is a blood sucking vampire. Upon discovering this new fact, Charley tries and turns every which way he can for help. As these situations usually go, no one believes him and he must turn to Peter Vincent, Movie Show host and alleged vampire hunter. Hilarity ensues as the body count rises and Charley plays a deadly cat and mouse game with the Vampire Jerry Dandridge and his evil carpenter/gayer, Billy Cole.

The next flick, after a whole bunch of gruesome old trailers was An American Werewolf in London. Directed by John Landis and staring the former Dr. Pepper dude David Laughton as David Kessler. David and his friend Jack, played by Griffin Dunne, are attacked in the English moors by a werewolf, Jack dies but David is not so lucky. He wakes up weeks later just before the next full moon. Even though he meets and sweets his nurse Alex, played by Jenny Agutter, he goes all werewolf. Oh yen let’s not forget that he is haunted by Jack and his victims all urging him to kill himself so that they can rest in peace.

If you have never seen this flick then you should go rent it, grab a pal. Buddy. Babe or whatever. Sit back on a dark night and get ready for jumps and scares galore!!

Last on the evenings showcase was an old favorite. It’s the Movie that after I made my grandparents watch it with became convinced that there was something wrong with me. That movie was THE EVIL DEAD.

Written and produced by Sam Raimie, this movies tag line is The Evil Dead, the Ultimate Experience in Grueling Horror. With the use of CGI this movie uses old school lighting, animation, Claymation, makeup, and an atmosphere provided by deep Tennessee woods in the winter to create a truly frightening movie. Never again after watching this movie will you feel alone in the woods again.

Ash Williams and his friends go to a remote cabin in the woods only to find that the woods themselves are haunted by demons raised by an archeologist who has translated the book of the dead. As the party falls prey the evil forces around them it becomes a battle for survival not only of life and limb, but for their souls.

This whole night was a blst and the movies were fun. If you haven’t seen these I sugeest you go rent them and sit back for a night of frights.

Remember THE EVIL DEAD?

2010-10-07T14:40:00.000-07:00

YO-
Ever wonder where new movies come from? Well they come from writers, directors, producers, and money. Well the writers and directors come from (in most cases) film schools. Producers kinda go hand in hand with money.
Remember the Evil Dead, 1981? Little known film makers, Sam Raimi, and Bruce Campbell, old high school friends, made that film on a shoe string. As a matter of fact, the film ran out of money and only half of it was completed in the Winter of 1980. In order to complete it, Sam Raimi, 'Robert Tapert' and Bruce Campbell did everything they could to complete the film. From taking out high interest bank loans, borrowing money from friends and family and even making cold calls to businesses around their hometown state of Michigan. The cold calls worked in that they actually got catering, gasoline and other necessities that the cast and crew needed.
Well Andrew Nevis, film student, writer, and director is working on a new movie. It is called “The Worst Action Hero”. Only problem is that he aint got no money. Can ya say “Hey Fadda, Can ya help out and old altaa boy?” Name that horror flick flicksters.
Anyhoo, you can help Drew out by contributing to The Worst Action Hero here at Andrew Nevis’ INDIEGOGO page.
I know yer like “wow, why would I want to contribute to Andrew Nevis’ film?” Because it’s guys like Drew that get that bump they need in the beginning, and then go on to produce great films, and TV classics like Spiderman 1, 2, and 3, Drag Me to Hell, American Gothic, XENA the Warrior Princess, Hercules, The legondary Journies, Thirty Days of Night, The Grudge, and the Grudge 2. OK that last one kinda sucked, but you get my drift; The guys Like Sam Raimi, Francis Ford Coppola, Ridley Scott etc. all had to start out somewhere. And it was probably knocking on doors and asking for money. In this case we are Knocking on your Cyberspace Door.

So please contribute to a new MOVIE PRODUCING SENSATION here at INDIEGOGO today!!

CREEP

2010-10-03T17:58:00.000-07:00

The first of two great flicks I watched this weekend was CREEP.
While inspecting the sewage system of London, two workers are attacked by a weird creature. Later, while heading home late one night after a party, Kate (Franka Ptenta), falls asleep while waiting for her train. She awakens to find herself trapped in the London underground, with all the doors locked for the evening. While being attacked by a co-worker who has followed her, a mysterious unseen creature drags him away and kills him. While trying to find help for her potential rapist, Kate meets the homeless underground, battles the Creep and makes a friend.
It’s a lovely tale of cruel experiments, what happens when playing house goes wrong, and why it’s a bad idea to do drugs in London’s underground. The overall tone is hopeless, creepy and demented. If you don’t pay too much attention to the plot holes and implausibility of the whole thing, you will really enloy yourself. Oh yeha nd lots of rats creeping around in pools of blood. Cool Man!

Heroes done for Good!!

2010-09-22T10:44:00.000-07:00

Well I just heard some screwed up news. NBC has dashed any plans for a 2, or 4 hour movie to wrap up Heroes. I am still watching season 4, I am almost to the end, but now I don’t know. Should I watch it through? Should I just say screw it and leave off where I am now? From what I hear there are a lot of plot lines just left hanging. This blows!!
What is it with these world class A-HOLES in the networks just ending shows and not even bother to tying up the stories? Maybe it is us; The people who allow ourselves to get caught up, time and time again just to be let down in the end. We watch and h=get involved, share at the water cooler at work about how” oh she did that”, or “do you think he really…” Then it is just over.
Personally I think the best way to combat these idiots is to stop watching their shows. I had my DVR set to record The Event but I will not be watching it. Screw NBC and their idiot programming. Everyone there should be fired for being A-HOLES.
I will sleep tonight in case you wondered, but it still pisses me off. No more NBC!!!!

Under New Stuff We Have

2010-09-03T10:30:00.000-07:00

'Machete': The Reviews Are In!

The Walking Dead

2010-08-24T15:42:00.000-07:00

Hey I just heard about The Walking Dead being Released on Halloween Night On AMC. Yes I know they were showing the trailer at Comicon, but I had to work helping the real walking dead remember their passwords and how to print. Anyhoo here is the trailer, I will be keep tabs on this and you can get any updates here from me, really, please read my blogs so that I can get rich quick. Yeh right...

Piranha 3D

2010-08-21T08:00:00.000-07:00

After seeing this last night I pondered as to how I could right a review about this flick free of spoilers. Then I realized that wait, there are no spoilers. The name its self, Piranha, pretty much spells out the whole movie even if you never saw Roger Corman's (rip off of Jaws ) original back in 1978.

So here I go with the recipe that makes Piranha 3D work:
Take a Silly Script, predictable plotline, predictable scenes, Characters we have all seen before, FANTASTIC 3D special effects, Boobs, more boobs, narly looking prehistoric peranha fish with personality, bikini clad girls dancing around in the water, blood, blood and more blood, a film style that reminds you of Miami CSI, a fast paced hip hop music score, add in a splash of corny suspensful tactics, followed by lots of gory special effects, then you add in a pretty strong cast including Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O'Connell, and the grandson of Steve McQueen, Steven R. McQueen. Plus there a couple of other cast surprises I was not expecting.

Anyhoo, you take all of these things and toss them together and you get a movie that works. Piranha 3D was everything I would expect from a movie named Piranha 3D. Blood, gore, boobs, floating body parts, laughter, suspense, a and a scene I will simply dub "The Frenzie".

I tried to count things like dead people, boobs, body parts, but I lost count. Cool Huh?

If you go see this movie expecting a social statement on the evils of teen sex, or an artistic look at the evolution of mans folly, then you are not paying attention. Not even to the title.

I give Piranha 3D 4 out of five free floating boobs.

Oh and a note to the girl who left her guy sitting in the movie because it was "Ewe Gross": You wern't paying attention were you?! And to the guy, Good for you for not leaving with her.

"Alien Trespass" Definately Not Horrific But A Lot of Fun

2010-08-20T10:22:00.000-07:00

Eric McCormack stars as Ted Lewis, an astronomer whose body plays host to an intergalactic bounty hunter named Urp after a spacecraft crashes into a mountain. But Urp isn't the only survivor: A ravenous monster is now roaming the California countryside. With the help of a local waitress (Jenni Baird), it's up to Ted -- or rather, his alien alter ego, Urp -- to save the planet from total annihilation. This movie pays homage to 1950s-era alien invasion flicks and completely captures the tone and feel of the classics we used to watch late on Saturday nights in Cleveland.
This movie has a great campiness to it. The sets are fantastic and if you love old cars you won't be disappointed. The "Monster' affects are cheesy on purpose and they meet their goal which is to create the look and feel of the 50s B Movie.
I first saw Alien Trespass in a little beat up movie house in Berkley last year. And I just talked my poor family into watching it again last weekend. This is great Flick so Get your popcorn ready, snuggleup with your best girl and enjoy.

It's Alive

2010-08-19T15:00:00.000-07:00

The original, the horrific "It's Alive" written, produced, and directed by Larry Cohen in 1974. The movie, in which the Davie's infant child turns out to be a vicious mutant monster that kills when frightened, when hungry, or just when ever.

I love this movie. I first saw it in about the 7th grade (uh oh, age hint here) and it has not lost any of it's original charm. Um, I mean harm.

If you are into camp, bad acting, bad writing, really bad special effects, then spend a saturday evening revisiting this classic. This is one of those movies so bad it is good.

Scene of NOTE (little spoiler here) Mr. Davies leaves the Hospital after his now missing son has slaughtered the entire delvery room staff. With apparently nothing else on his mind, Mr Davies decides to get a newspaper and catch up on the days events HUH?! Really WTF?!

You be the judge here but I found plenty reason to laugh.

I had to come back

2010-06-01T11:27:00.000-07:00

Well guys and gools it’s been a while but I had to come back. I just watched DayBreakers with Ethan Hawk and Sam Neil.
Wow!! What can I say but Wow what a Horrific Movie this was! I loved the style, I loved the creepiness, but the writing and execution just left me hanging going HuH??
Ethan Hawk plays a guilty vampire in a world where humans are becoming extinct. Vampires are devolving into sub creatures who feed on Vampires. Ethan Hawks Character, Ed, finds a cure for vampirism but Sam Neil his boss wants nothing to do with it. Wilem Dafoe, who I really like just kind phones this one in. He plays Elvis, a mechanic who some years before accidentally found the cure for vampirism but just needed a trust worthy vampire to help him recreate it. He is there, but underutilized, they could have stuck anyone in that part and it would have had the same onscreen impact.
Daybreakers is a kind of a corporate scandal, greed, zombies among zombies flick that just never really coagulated for me. I almost think that some producer got in there and said “Ok lets wrap this up, it’s starting to cost too much money.”
I will however be watching for other works by Michael Spierig the writer and director. I think he has great potential!!

Halloween 2 To Bad To Be Taken Seriously

2009-09-01T10:43:00.000-07:00

Well I just saw Halloween 2 from writer director Rob Zombie. Let me qualify the follow with the statement that I like Rob zombies work. Loved the whole Firefly Family saga, dig the videos and the faux trailer in Planet Terror, really dig the music, and I loved Zombies remake of Halloween.
But Halloween 2 sucked. Why oh why did Rob Zombie have to get artsie fartsie?
Yeh I know, Rob Zombie is an artist. That would explain the silly hat I have seen in wearing lately.
Yeh I know he wanted to re-envision, add reality to Michael Myers. Michael Myers did not need to be re-envisioned. He needed to stay a mythical unreal super badass obviously being protected by some mythical mystical badass. He did not have to become the stinky ass, hulking deaf and dumb, homeless asshole that hangs out around my town scaring people as they leave target.
Mr. Zombie with all due respect, I dig your wife. I think she is way cool, and made a great Baby Firefly, and a good Mother Myers, but a bad slow unenthusiastic Ghost of Mrs Myers.
The whole flick just seemed tired and strained. It was like Rob Zombie didn’t really want to do a part 2, which he said he would never do, but someone through enough money at him to do so, so he did it and it sucked!!
Sorry for the outburst. I have full confidence that future works by Rob Zombie will be back up to his usual standards. But as for Halloween 2 I will have to stick with John Carpenter and Debra Hill’s version.
3 out of 5 skulls for Blood and Gore and Brad Dourif’s performance. Mr. Dourif was the only real character in the flick.

Terminator Salvation

2009-05-23T09:10:00.000-07:00

Terminator Salvation was exactly as I expected it to be. Loud, grim, and full of my three favorite movie aspects: lots of screaming, gunfights and fiery explosions. And just when I thought it was slowing down there was more screaming, gun battles, and fiery explosions.
Needless to say I liked it a lot. The story in short, as to drop no spoilers, follows the adventures of John Conner and Kyle Reese before they met up.
Christian Bale as John Conner does a good Job at being Christian Bale in a John Conner outfit, Conner’s wife Kate was played by Bryce Dallas Howard the cool naked chick from Lady in the water. Howard demonstrated that she can stand and look contemplative, on the edge of tears very proficiently.
I have no Idea where the hell Sam Worthington came from but he did a great job as Marcus Wright.
Moon Bloodgood, who played a scantily clad Indian chick in Pathfinder and a stripper on CSI was ok but under developed as far as her character was concerned, and was fully dressed for Salvation (I can’t wait for the directors cut).
Helena Bonham Carter who reminds me of every hot, yet psycho chick I dated in my twenties was great as the face of Skynet. Oops, was that a spoiler, not really if you think about it when movie producers are trying to find a psycho chick as the face of anything, Carter is usually at the top of the list.
If you are going to see Salvation with the idea of great writing, deep social themes, a happy ending, daisies blowing in the spring breeze atop hills of green then this is not your movie.
I saw one review, I will not mention his name, but it rhymes with Guy Smur, Stating that the movie is grim, muscular, thundering and Joyless. No Crap Mr. Slap, It’s a movie about Robots trying to exterminate all of the humans on earth. By the way don’t read Smur’s Review unless you want Spoilers.
Any’hoo Salvation will assault your senses, make you jump, and if you are a twelve year old boy trapped in a forty-six year old body like me, you will be chomping at the bit for the video game to come out.

Oh yeh what’s my scale? It has been a while since I posted here….UUUHHHMM I will give it 4 out of 5 stainless steel skulls For fun and action one short for writing, there was not to much originality here.

My Bloody Valentine In 3d

2009-01-06T18:36:00.000-08:00

Just watched the trailer for My Bloody Valentine in 3D. Looks like a blast. I am a big fan of the 1981 George Mihalka classic. Who ever thought of a crazed miner hacking away at Feb 14th lovers. What a killer concept..Only to be beaten by putting it into a torture porn 3D format.

Wow!! I can't wait, I will be there on the 16th of January. This is kind of flick I save my Movie Money for!!!

Asa matter of fact you can get a horrific batch of flowers for your current victim at http://www.squidoo.com/valentines-day-gifts-2

Rob Zombie has Signed On to do H2

2009-01-06T18:33:00.000-08:00

Just heard about Rob Zombie Signing on to do H2. Kind of a suprize seeing as he said he would not do it.

Seems to me that the story was closed on his version of Halloween. But we never actually saw what happened when Scout fired the gun.

Anyway I will be looking for trailers to share

Quantum of Solace

2008-11-24T22:33:00.000-08:00

Ok first of all, The quantum of Solace is NOT, I repeat NOT a rehash of Jason Bourne flicks. So what that Solace has foot and car chases, great hand to hand fights, and Bond is on a mission to avenge the love of his life, Vesper. Along the way he runs up with Camille, played by Olga Kurylenko. She like bond is somewhat damaged, just like bond.

The two movie series are, i said are not alike, and frankly Solace is a great deal better than Ultimatum.

There is a touch of humor, slick cars, Felix, good old fashioned revenge, and an omage clip to Goldfinger.

Admittedly need are gadgets and more floosies. God knows I love floosies!!

If you are looking for a Bond flick that has adventure and fun, yet is more in the tradition of the original Bond Novels, without being over acted and boring like Timothy Dalton, then go see Quantum of Solace. Give Bond a chance, if you ever read the books like I did as a kid, you will love it.

I Lucifer

2008-11-24T22:31:00.000-08:00

Daniel Craig, THE newest James Bond, If you have been ling under a rock, is also starring in a flick that caught my eye, I, Lucifer. It looks like more of a comedy, satire kinda flick but pretty cool any way. I always love a good Satan Flick. Wowza remember Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled?! Again I say Wowza!
Anyway, I, Lucifer is Based on Glen Duncan's best seller. God is giving Satan a last shot at redemption: Satan must live out a blameless life as a human. Slick negotiator that he is, Lucifer negotiates a 'try before you buy' period. One month. London. He has no intention of taking God up on His offer. Lucifer simply wants to put a body through as much drugs, sex, and other vices as possible. But inhabiting a human body gives rise to feelings the Ol' Devil never thought possible. Could he want to take God up on the offer after all?
Summary written by The Production
I will give this a shot just because its got Daniel Craig in it. Craigs done some cool stuff over t the past few years and I highly doubt that he’ll get type cast by his Bond role.
Oh Yeh, I will be reviewing The Quantum of Solace come Saturday morning. I konow it’s not a Horror flick but I will be ding damned dang I love me my Bond Flicks!!!, Own em all I do.

The haunting of Molly Hartley

2008-09-18T16:15:00.000-07:00

I just saw a Trailer for a cool movie coming out this halloween. It is "the Haunting of Molly Hartley" It looks to be a good old fashioned devil comes for his pay kinda flick and I think it's got lots of potential. Check it out at the link down below.

Iron Maiden Frontman Saves Brits from Living Hell

2008-09-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

whoda thunk? I just thought that this was a pretty cool article, yeh I know its got nothin' to do with horror movies and all that crap but I gotta admit that after listening to Iron Maiden for years, this is the last story I'd epect to hear, and Bruce Dickinson is not lookin like what I would expect. Here is the story I found on SKY NEWS

Bruce Dickinson, lead singer of the heavy metal band Iron Maiden, has told Sky News how he helped a group of XL holidaymakers stranded in Egypt.

High flier: Bruce Dickinson is a fully-qualified pilot
Dickinson, a qualified pilot, was captain of the specially-chartered Monarch Airlines jet which flew them from Sharm el Sheikh to Gatwick Airport.
The 50-year-old, who flies the legendary Iron Maiden around on tour, also works as a pilot in his spare time.
He said he was delighted to have been able to help the stricken British travellers.
He told Sky's Alistair Bunkall: "I think they were relieved they were going home and finally that something defnite was happening.
"It 's obviously very stressful being stuck in a foreign country and not knowing 100 percent what's going on.
"It's probably even difficult even for reps of the company to find out 100 percent what's going on."
It was not the first time Dickinson has been involved in a mercy mission.
In the summer of 2006 he flew about 200 UK citizens home from Lebanon during the Israel/Hezbollah conflict.
The following February he flew the Rangers football team to Israel for their UEFA cup game against Hapoel Tel Aviv.
Dickinson is employed as a part-time captain by charter airline Astraeus who supplied him to Monarch.
He was taught to fly by senior British Airways pilot Phil Dales

I want to thank Sky News for this post. Thanks Sky News

The Eye with Jessica Alba

2008-09-11T20:04:00.000-07:00

You guys want to know why I love NetFlix, It's because when you watch a steaming heap like "The Eye" with Jessica Alba, and it sucks, you are only out a portion of your low monthly fee. Oh yeh, and 110 minutes of your life you can only get back by skipping church for a couple of weeks. Har dee har freakin har!
Usually I will watch the Asian Version on these types of movies, then I can go in to see the US versions with prejudice. Yes I am some what of a snob when it comes to US filmmakers redoing and dumbing down great Japanese, Hong Kong, or Korean horror so that us retards in the US of freakin A can handle them.
Heres the basics on the Eye: A Blind violinist Sydney Wells (Jessica Alba) undergoes a corneal transplant to restore her sight. With the help of her doctor (Alessandro Nivola) and her sister Helen (Parker Posey)(who could have been left out even though she is very cool, she had no place in this flick), Sydney learns to see again. Unfortunately, the surgery leaves some creepy side effects, and Sydney's sanity soon comes into question when she starts seeing supernatural beings. This thriller is a remake of the Hong Kong spine-tingler Gin Gwai.
Jessica alba looks great in her undies, but she cannot act her way out of them. It was not creepy, noy spine tingling, just a waste of a late Saturday night.

Oh Yeh the good thing was that I got it from NetFlix, so even though I had the option of bailing out 20 minutes in but didn't, I could have. Tell you what, the best thing about NetFlix is that when you get a stinker, you can drop out with minimal investment. You, to, can try NetFlix Netflix DVD Rentals. NO LATE FEES; Free Shipping. Try for FREE!
With that Shameless plug, I will let ya'll go with this; Don't watch "The Eye" we are talkin' serious no skulls here!!!

Prepare to get Slimed again

2008-09-04T20:18:00.001-07:00

I just heard, There is a Ghost Busters 3 in the works. Apparently, Columbia Pictures is looking at reuniting all four of the original Ghost Busters. Arent these guys all pretty old now?
Well it would be cool to see Bill Murry do some comedy again after the last few steamers he's been involved with. Like "Lost in Translation" No shit Sherlock, that movie made no sense at all.

Anyway keep checking back and I will post new news on GB3 as I hear it!!

Crazy Eights--Crazy to waste your time

2008-09-04T19:42:00.000-07:00

Crazy Eights is a steaming pile of whatever you can imagine coming out of a werewolves hairy ass. Unfortunately, there are no werwolves in this piece of shite, there is only the occasional shadow of a little girl, Frank Whaley wining like he does in evry movie he is in, Dina Myers, Tracy Lords acting tough and cussing alot, and that skinny chick from the USA hit series Burn Notice.

Directed by James K. Jones
Writen by Dan DeLuca, and James K. Jones

Rough plot--
Six people are brought together at the funeral of a childhood friend. While settling the estate, they discover a map, which leads them on a search for a long forgotten time capsule, at the request of their dead friend. What they discover reawakens repressed childhood traumas and leads them on a journey through their long abandoned childhood home: a home with a terrible secret and a mysterious dead girl who will lead them to their strange fates.
The only good part of this peace of crap is when the skinny chick from Burn Notice (Gabrielle Anwar) rips her own jaw off. The rest of the deaths are only eluded to; just like the point of this whole meaningless adventure into stupidity.
Christ on a cycle, it took me four attempts to get through this pile fearnet. It is the first of the “Eight Movies to Die For” series that I have watched. I hope the rest are better. I would get the DVD just to see if there are direct/writers commentaries to explain WTF is going on, but then I would have to kick my own ass for wasting another minute on this crap.
Avoid this flick unless you absolutely hate yourself and there are no Cat o’ nine tails around with which to slap yourself.
No skull here folks. If Tracy Lords is reading this, no pun intended.

1408 The Directors cut

2008-09-04T19:31:00.000-07:00

I just saw 1408, the directors cut. I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised. Mikael Håfström directs John Cusack as a writer who specializes in debunking haunted hotel claims. Mike Enslin, Cusack’s character, is a burned out maybe alcoholic who has a heavy weight over his head. After a brief opening segment where we get to know Mike, he is challenged by someone, via post, card to not stay in room 1408 of the Dolphin Hotel in New York City.

Samuel Jackson is Gerald Olen the Dolphin’s Manager. Olen tries his best to dissuade Mike from staying in room 1408, with everything from bribes, to ghastly tales of past deaths. Of course our hero Mike refuses these enticements because he believes that it is all a put on, that there is no haunting, that the Olen just wants the publicity.

Just about the minute that Mike enters room 1408, the ghostly antics begin. Like Olen says “It's an evil fucking room”.

There is a whole sub-plot that involves Mike’s deceased daughter. Somehow, room 1408 draws from its resident’s pain and suffering and throws it back in their face in order to push them over the edge. Cusack plays a great tortured soul facing his worst moments in life. The room incessantly teases Mike with pain, then release, only to fall back into the reality of his being trapped in 1408.

The end of the directors cut is very different then that of the theatrical release. It is just as creepy, but very different. I would definitely give 1408 the directors cut a 4 out of 5 skulls.

Death Race

2008-08-25T20:38:00.000-07:00

Ok, I waited a long time for Death Race, the remake based on Death Race 2000 the 1975 cult favorite produced by and in association with Roger Corman, king of the B Movies.

Here is the plot, such as it is; in 2012, the United States economy collapses and life for everyone pretty much sucks. Once a NASCAR champion, Jensen Ames, (Jason Statham), hits rock bottom and spent several years in prison. His life was improving and changing for the better after meeting and marrying Suzy (Janaya Stephens) and having a baby girl. (This entire back story, aside from some text at the beginning of the film is barely alluded to; you are left to fill in the details). The steel mill where Jensen works closes and he loses his job. But that was not the worst thing to happen to Jenson that day. Jensen’s wife is brutally murdered, and he is framed for her murder. Jenson is sent to Terminal Island, the worst and toughest for-profit prison in the country run by Warden Hennessey (Joan Allen). She has created the country's most popular pay-per-view sport, a kill-or-be-killed car race where the inmates race to win their freedom from prison after 5 wins. Every inmate driver is driving a monster car that they built which is loaded with machine guns, missiles, flamethrowers, napalm, and no rules. Warden Hennessey convinces Jensen to secretly take the place of the late 4-time superstar winner, Frankenstein, originally played by David Carradine, and wear his metallic mask in the race. If Jensen wins just one race, he can go home to his baby daughter. To get to the finish line, Jensen must kill his competition before they kill him. Thank You to Douglas Young, “The Movie Guy”.

Here is where the differences lie. There is no moral message here based on the idea that we as a nation have gone to far with the whole reality TV genre. In the movie it is like duuuude, who cares!? The plot is held together by loose strings of action and the promise that Jensen can get out by winning the fifth race. We all know going in that this is not the case and he will have to defeat the evil Warden Hennessey before he can get out.

Even Ian McShane’s excellent acting, Jason Stathom’s usual appeal, and the strength of Joan Allen cannot make this a movie to be taken seriously. Oh yeh, Tyrese Gibson is very unbelievable as a gay Machine Gun Joe, but he is kind of entertaining. Natalie Martinez looks hot as Frankenstein’s navigator but ruins it every time she opens her mouth.

What we have is Paul W.S. Anderson’s usual attempt at taking something very cool, and trashing it with rap music, hoochie mamas doing the Miami CSI slow mo walk with plenty of booby action and very little real writing. Quit trying to appeal to the younger generation as though they are idiots. Most are, but they do have the brains to sit through intelligent dialog.

Sorry Mr. Anderson but I am still smarting from the steaming heap and loss of 83 minutes with Alien Versus Predator. But if it makes you feel better, I did like all of the Resident Evil Flicks. See Zombienights.com for those updates.

OK Complaints aside we do have an action packed, spectacularly choreographed super race, chase flick with lots of high speed racing, gore, explosions, gunfire, gore, fighting, gore, gunfire, high speed racing, more explosions and gore, and to top it off, we get to see and hear the formidable Joan Allen say words like C*** Sucker, and say things like "F*** With Me and we'll see who S**ts on the sidewalk". What does that even mean? WOW!!

Lets not forget all the really cool explosions and gore!!

This is definitely a matinee type of show. I can't wait for the video game. Plese someone tell me there will be a video game! This si a check your brain at the door, have some popcorn for nervous munching kind of flick. If you expect anything more from a movie entitled "Death Race", you haven't been paying attention. I give it 2 and a 1/2 out of 5 skulls for the pure fun of the action sequences.

2008-08-03T20:32:00.001-07:00

The Dark Knight Has Risen

2008-07-21T18:59:00.000-07:00

Wow!! Freakin' cool, I have to say I loved this movie.

The Dark Knight starring Christian Bale and The late Heath Ledger was every bit what I expected, dark, violent, loud, action packed and fun.

Christian Bale is excellent as Batman. Gone is the brooding, self absorbed hero whose very psyche hinges on the question of whether or not he is the bad guy. Replaced is the pragmatic, determined and dedicated hero of the city. Tough, scarred, strong and tired we have a true hero.

Even better than a true hero in my book is a true psychotic. Volatile, lethal, uncaring, utterly horrible is Heath Ledger as the Joker. Ledger was awesome as the Joker, at no point while watching this movie did I think, "Wow isn't Ledger great in this part", no, I only saw The Joker; a chaotic, loose canon unleashed upon the city with no rhyme or reason, just pure insanity wreaking havoc on the good, the bad and well anyone who pisses him off. Wow, I think I might have a little man crush on the Joker.

Any hoo, whoa there, The movie is fun. The actors were great, the special effects were fantasic. Also, the movie is dark, and violent. The Dark Knight is not for kids. If you are a parent taking your kids to see a Batman film, and then getting pissy because it is dark and violent, then you have not been paying attention.

Unlike Spiderman 3 which had producers, but no writers, yes I said it, Spiderman 3 Fired it's writers and had a bunch of dinks in an office saying "Wow that would be cool looking, lets do that" instead of someone who actually wrote anything, The dark Knight had some great writing by John and Christopher Nolan. Everything fit, was necessary for the story, and left you wanting more.

This is a perfect good guys versus bad guys picture with just the right amount of death, humor and battle. It is a comic book on film and it was exactly what it was supposed to be.

Dark Knight Trailers, Heath Ledger Interview, Christian Bale Interview

2008-07-15T19:50:00.000-07:00

The Dark Night, starring Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Aaron Eckhart, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Morgan Freeman is coming out this Friday July 18th.

If it is anything at all like Batman Begins, then we are in for a real treat. Of course the consummate method actor Christen Bale will star as the Dark Knight. This guy is nuts, he starves himself for one roll then buffs out for the next. I would have to say that so far Bale is the best Batman yet.

But this time around, filling the shoes previously worn by Ceasar Romero, and Jack Nicholson, as the Joker, is Heath Ledger who unfortunately met an untimely death this past year. At least he just went to sleep and didn't do a Bon Scott or Janice Joplin. Anyway, as in his previous films, Ledger will no doubt be great. Oscar Great? Oh who knows. He might just get it because of all the publicity surrounding his death, but I would hope he gets it because he did a good job.

Death'll getcha didly squat in Jack's book!

Yahoo movies has a great page on The Dark Knight with lots of great clips and interviews. Check it out at http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809271891/info And Remember Jack sent ya!!

The kind of geek I am I shy away from links on pages that may give away to many details. I really do not like "The Making Of" videos. Especially before I see a movie.

So reviews are to come this Friday night. I know I won't be the only one out there with an opinion, but it only takes one of you to form start a following. The more who follow the more will happen on this blog. So fess up a reply or two and send in your own reviews

William Shatner stars in the "Devils Rain"

2008-07-13T19:36:00.000-07:00

This post is for all of you young'ens who think horror started with "Scream", or "The Craft". Both are decent movies in their own right but there are other, scary, gross, silly cult classics out there which are entertaining in many way.

One of my favorites is a little known Devil in the Desert piece called "The Devils Rain"

Centuries ago, Jonathan Corbis (Ernest Borgnine) was the leader of a devil-worshipping cult -- but he was betrayed. Members stole the sacred book that held the names of those who had given themselves to Satan. Today, the Preston family hides the book, determined to keep Corbis from his evil goals. Corbis, however, is dogged in his pursuit and has vowed bloody vengeance in this horror flick starring Tom Skerritt, William Shatner and Ida Lupino.

This a great hokey, 70s flick that will tickle your funny bone and as it did for me, make you wary of those friendly people you meet out in the desert at remote gas stations.

The Devil's Rain is definitely a must see.

10,000 BC (Big Crap)

2008-07-13T15:27:00.000-07:00

So far as I watch this steaming heap with my wife, the most annoying part is that she keeps having to ask me "what did he say?", or "who is that?".

Its not her fault. This movie is a steaming heap of mammoth dung. Nothing makes sense, there is no character to care about, and the muddled visuals make it hard to tell what is happening most of he time.

Stupid story, bad dialog, nonsensical narration. Avoid it at all costs!!!

HellBoy II The Golden Army

2008-07-13T10:50:00.000-07:00

Wow!! Excellent film by Guillermo Del Toro! I loved the new HellBoy!
Not only was there great action, but a decent story with some humor and some character development for characters you would usually only see whats on the surface.

As in many Comic Book stories our heroes experience the dark side of who they are and how they fit into this world. HellBoy II integrates this theme throughout the story and makes you think about who is the bad guy and who is not. Some brief moments are a little formulaic, but even with the occasional stall, the overall story jumps back to grab you.

The special affects are Awesome. This is a movie that requires CGI, and it is done el perfecto.

There are a few inconsistencies that you will no doubt pick up yourself but if you go into a movie titled HellBoy II and try and pick it apart for realism or plausibility then you need to smack yourself in the head, go back and exchange your tickets for ... well there does not seem to be any esoteric, deep thought movies out right now. I know you could just go rent Howard's End, or Sense and Sensibility.

But If you want to have fun, go see HellBoy II The Golden Army!

WIND CHILL

2008-07-10T14:57:00.000-07:00

Emily Blunt (Prudie Drummond in "The Jane Austin Book Club"....arrrrrggghhrr echth! Sorry, Jack just never thought he'd be mentioning Jane Austin on this blog, ever), and Ashton Holmes (Jack Stahl in "History of Violence"), play the Girl and Guy in the Sony Picture's release of "WIND CHILL". And yes that is how they are billed, Girl and Guy.

I never saw this movie hit the theaters but actually caught it on Starz recently. I had my doubts, but sat up one night with a plate of snacks and soda, turned down the lights and watched this very good ghost story.

Yes, I said it, Wind Chill is a a ghost story. No chainsaws, no 3 lb. mallets, no devices which snap on your head if you can't dig a key out of your ass before the timer goes off. Just a plain old ghost story.

Girl and Guy get together for a shared ride home from college for the holidays. In 30 degree below temperatures Guy makes the incredibly bad choice of taking a shortcut route (WRONG TURN) onto a very bad stretch of road. Guy crashes the car and he and girl must survive a night teaming with hidden terrors.

The best thing about this movie is that tension is built in a simple environment with a decent script coupled with wind and snow machines machines being the only special effects. There is a certain amount of predictability for those who love the horror genre, but a few good chills and surprises are there to keep up the interest I found myself sitting on the edge of my seat more than once.

Anyway if you get a chance to catch it on Stars or Fearnet wherever, then give it a shot!!

New horrific, chainsaw zombie animation, claymation video from takena on Youtube

2008-07-10T11:21:00.001-07:00

7

2008-06-30T21:53:00.000-07:00

Wow I love that next to last scene in 7 when Brad Pitt realizes that his wife's head is in the box.

The Mother Of Tears

2008-06-30T20:39:00.000-07:00

I was first exposed to Dario Argento’s The Three Mothers trilogy 1977 with the garish, violent, and almost unbearably loud Suspiria, then in 1980 I saw the confusing, garish, violent, and ridiculously loud Inferno. Finally after 27 years I have gotten to see the third chapter, The Mother Of Tears.

In preparation for the big event, to tell you the kind of geek I am, I watched both Suspiria and Inferno right before I went see The Mother of Tears. Once again I was enthralled with Suspiria. It was just goofy enough for smirking, but then something would jump out of the red, blue or purple lighting that made me jump. Inferno, still sucked. At least in Suspiria, you could care about Suzie Banion. In Inferno, I just wanted everyone to die.

Then I got to see The Mother of Tears. The kind of geek I am, I thought there would be a line to get in. It was only playing one night in the bay area, and I got there two hours early to make sure I got a good seat. There were mabey 25 people in the place. Being in my forties, I was the oldest guy in the room. The rest were Berkley students just bored and looking for air conditioning on a 100 degree plus day.

The Mother of Tears takes place in modern Rome and begins in an unconsecrated section of church grounds, where workers unearth a 19th-century casket and urn. After the local priest figures out what the urn is, he sends it and the casket to a museum guy named Michael. Michael’s two assistants, Giselle and Sarah (Asia Argento), decide to break protocol and open the urn. Asia argento leaves the room for a minute and in the meantime Giselle read the engraved words on three mokey like statues. Soon appears a monkey, and three guys in big robes and bad Halloween masks. The three gargoyle-like creatures, now full-sized and embodied, tear into Giselle and strangle her with her own entrails, and ripp her jaw appart with some cool device they must have been packing in their robes. Sarah would be next, the monkey did it’s best to make sure, but for the mysterious beneficent voice that guides her to safety. The monkey makes many appearances in the pursuit of Sarah through out the movie which start an audience wide synchronized “Fucking Monkey!” This was always followed by laughter.

All kinds of crazy crap happens after that night. People are raging in the streets, mothers are killing their babies, and all the witches in the world, all of which remind me of an old girlfriend's “Girls Night Out" pals converge on Rome cackling and acting as stupid as the biker gang in Mad Max.

Asia Argento runs up with an old friend of her mother who was killed before Suspiria. Sarah learns to talk with her deceased mother through the coaching of this older lesbian. We find out she is a lesbian due to a gratuitous lesbian scene. Sorry no Asia Argento there. But we do get to learn that Sarah has special powers, though we never get to see them, and that she can say Mommy” repeatedly, in a loud scratching, pleading voice that I may never get out of my head.
Except for a brief display of Sarah’s courage, and her slog through Satan’s sewer, the film ends pretty predictably, sunrise and all. When Mater Lachrimarium, the Mother of Tears (Moran Atias), finally appears, it’s not only too little too late, but it’s also not scary. Cool shirt though, apparently 19th century witches were into extreme bikini waxing.

With all of the goofiness, Asia Argento’s hacting, yes HACTING, and silly script, it was everything I expected and I loved it. Favorite scene: When the Japanese Witch gets her head squished by a plastic sliding door. Best aspect: I finally was able to make some sense of the whole story and Inferno in particular. Stupidest scene the phone booth. Just hang up the phone Sarah, just hang up the phone.

Inferno will soon have it’s day on this blog, as soon as I figure out what was up with the hot dog guy. Those in the know, know what I am talking about!

Over all I can see the dvd set coming out in a year or so and I will own it. I may never unwrap Inferno, but I will own it. It is entertainment.

One last note, Mother of Tears played one night only in the Bay area and my daughter took me to see it as a fater's day gift. She could not have thought of a better gift.

Thank You Sasha, I will always remember it.

Rob Zombie Interview

2007-08-28T09:48:00.000-07:00

Hey Guys and Ghouls, If you take a look to the right you will see some stuff I pulled from Yahoo Movies, it is an updated version of Interviews with Rob Zombie, cast and crew. Thank You Yahoo Movies.

So enjoy them, and look for back here later for some new reviews on House of a Thousand Corpses, and the Devils Rejects. I read a stinging, all be it older review on House, and feel the need to retort.

Also upcoming is a review of Mike Mendez's (The Convent) 2006 flick "The GraveDancers". A spooky, well done, old fashioned ghost story.

The Convent Starring Adrienne Barbeau

2007-08-25T20:21:00.000-07:00

Oh Yeh Babies, The Convent, 2000 with Joanna Canton as Clorissa, Richard Trapp,as Frijole, Dax Miller as Chad, Renée Graham as Kaitlin, Liam Kyle Sullivan and none other than my 10 year old crush (First from Maude, then crush revived Everytime I see Escape From New York) Adrienne Barbeau as Christine, the now middle aged, Catholic plad skirted, shotgun toting bombshell, reinlisted to hunt down the demonic nuns she blasted 40 years prior.
When a bunch of knuckle headed, dope smoking teens and some goth wanna be Satan worshippers accidentally unleash hell in an old mission, Christine is called to action.
This movie is gory, silly, sick and a whole lot of fun. I give it 4 out of 5 skulls just based on low budget creativity alone.
This is a Lions Gate film produced by Jed Nolan and Directed By Mike Mendez

Rob Zombie's Halloween

2007-08-23T15:46:00.000-07:00

Rob Zombie's Halloween is only a week away. Probably the last remake of any movie I will see this year, as I am getting a little tired of remakes. Rob Zombie's Halloween stars Daeg Faerch as Young Micheal Myers,Tyler Mane as Adult Michael Myers and Scout Taylor-Compton as Lori Strode, Malcolm McDowell plays Dr Loomis, also on board are Rob favs Danny Trejo, and Sheri Moon. Directed by Rob Zombie, and Produced by John Carpenter, Malek Akkad, Harvey Weinstein.

I am very excited about seeing this flick. I guess the whole premise with Rob Zombies version is to explore more of why Michael Myers, everybobody's favorite big brother and nextdoor neihgbor, is the way taht he is. I am curious as to whether or not the whole spirit of Samhain the druid demon is still brought into play.

Here is a link to an interview with cast and crew I found on Yahoo Movies. I do not want to watch this as I hate spoilers but if you want some forsight on the the subject and are not afraid of potential spoilers wel then here tou go----http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809784517/video/3773901/

On August 31st. I will be watching this flick. Watch HorrificNews that night for my review.

In the mean time keep on Slashin'

Demons From Hell Where are You?

2007-08-21T12:56:00.000-07:00

Demons From Hell; Where in the Hell are you?? During these torrid times of super fast, super stong zombies, radiation infected, patchy haired toothless mutants, werewolves, (who couldn't scare my cat out of a deep cudly snooze), and vampires who keep testing their tech skills instead of sucking the blood out of everything in sight, and now a new oozie substance that gets in our brains and makes us automatons? By the way If you are the victim of an invasion and have become an emotionless automaton, why do you dress or bathe or comb your hair?

Any way back to our absent friends, the Demons. Are there any Demons in the movies anymore. Have they all retired to an Italian villa next to George Clooney, secretly wishing they could sacrifice his pet pig. Oh--My bad someone just told me that George's pig died. There you go, did the pig die, or was it muuurrrdder?

SPOILERS------

The last good movie which dealt with Demons on earth was Constantine, The story of detective John Constantine, who has literally been to Hell and back. When Constantine teams up with skeptical policewoman Angela Dodson to solve the mysterious suicide of her twin sister, their investigation takes them through the world of demons and angels that exists just beneath the landscape of contemporary Los Angeles. Caught in a catastrophic series of otherworldly events, blah blah blahthey fight monsters and trick Lucifer whom Constantine warmly refers to as Lu,
and they get the bad guys .......

But even Constantine was more of an adventure, all be a good one, that relied on great special effects and flash bang to entertain the viewers. There was no real spookiness to the film and nothing that made you look behind you while walking down a dark hallway at night.

Exorcist: The Biginning, 2005, was a laughable attempt to add unneeded history to the original Exorcist. Father Merrin, (seen some 30 years prior to his romp with Regan), as a priest who has lost his faith during some very bad moments in WW2. Having discovered a Buried church deep in the hills of Kenya he finds that the church is actually a holding Pen for our Favorite Demon Pazuzu. And he has let Pazuzu out. We first met Pzuzu after he practiced up on his spooky stuff in the original Excorcist, 1973. Father Merrin is subject to horrid visions of his time as a priest in Nazi Occupied lands, stupid looking CGI Hyenas, and idiot British soldiers doing the same dumb crap as their German counter parts. I guess that Pazuzu had to bone up on his scary skills before he came back to possess Regan because he is not scary here, just kind of a pain in everyone's ass.

What I am getting at is that there needs to be a resurgence of true evil in the movies today. I want to see something that will make me wonder whether or not going into the basement will result in my soul being ripped from my dying body and subjected to eons of torturous hell. Or will the Demon in question just screw with me and just keep his razor sharp claws a quarter inch from my spinal cord as I walk briskly through the woods at dusk.

In other words, People in Hollywood, I've been shocked, grossed out and loved the special effects, except in the Exorcist: the Beginning, now how about scaring me!!! Pinhead, Pazuzu, Satan, the djinn, Aunt Myra and all "Demons From Hell" come and get me!! At the movies of course.

Horror Movie News

2007-08-20T14:16:00.000-07:00

Well Folks I am back after a round of thirty day challenge catchup.

What we are are going to dicuss today in the world of horror movie news is the announcement that Warner Brothers is going to release Deathrace 300o in 2008. The Movie based on 1975s Death Race 200 starring David Carradine and Sylvester Stalone is still trying to gather both script and director credits. But Rumour has it that Tyrese Gibson, NOT Jason Stratham, as earlier announced, has taken on the lead roll.

In other Horror Movie News, Skinwalkers is getting laughable reviews for its poor writing, acting and silly plot. Evidently this flick is about a war being faught between rival factions of Werewolves.

Now for an old treat, if you want a slow, creepy, gothicly dark flick, then Needfull Things, 1993, is the movie for you. Ed Harris as the sherrif of Castle Rock finds himself up against a town gone wacky at the instigation of Max Von Sydow. Sydow is the devil come in the form of a quaint little curios shop owner who will sell you any thing your heart desires, for a price. And the price is jacking around with your neighbors and helping to turn everyone against everyone else. It depicts the lowest form of human nature and greed in action. In other words, it depicts the reality behind most real horror in the news.

Get Needful Things from Netflix.

X-FILES to Return??

2007-07-16T14:33:00.000-07:00

Rumor has it that X-Files 2 is set to be released next summer. Well you have to admit that they did leave the last one open for a sequel with the giant bee hives now moved to the African desert. Did cigarette man escape, did Scully and Mulder raise their love child to be a jr. FBI guy? Is their love child really theirs or the offspring of a secret alien interlude? Your guesses are as good as mine. All I no is that I hope Robert Patrick is kept out of it. Or is he already dead in the show? I don't remember.

2007-07-15T14:45:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my Blog, This will be my first posting so here we go hope you like this BLOG and give it a chance to grow!!

Here is my Rating system Usually based on previews and prejudgment and usually right---

Big Screen Full Price

Matinee

DVD

Cable

NO NO NO not evan

Good horror movie of the week? 1408 starring John Cusack. This was a great depiction, and expansion of the Stephan King short story. Here is the lowdown, WARNING SPOILER ALERT!!!

When Mike Enslin's ( John Cusak ) daughter died , he became obsessed with the paranormal , particularly the ' other side '. After years of being a paranormal writer & investigator , he has found - nothing. Mike is ready to give up his search for evidence of the paranormal. Until he hears of a possible subject for his new book - Room 1408 in the Dolphin Hotel , New York City. Mike is determined to prove that the rumours surrounding the room are fakes by staying in the room himself. He cannot be dissuaded by anyone , even the hotel manager Mr Olin ( Samuel L Jackson ) , tries to warn him off , but Mike is having none of it. That is until Room 1408 shows him its true colours ... and its many horrors . (IMdb 2007)

This was a fun movie, it had enough real writing to add creepiness to the shock spots and special effects. Over all I give it a Matinee Rating.

Bad movie of the week? Hands down it was the Covenant, 2006 revcently seen on STARZ. Here is the summary--

In 1692, in the Ipswich Colony of Massachusetts, five families of powerful witches commit to a covenant of silence to protect themselves against the witch hunters, but one of the families transgress their pact and is banished from their lands. Along the centuries, the power and the covenant are transmitted through their descendants and when the eldest son is eighteen years old, he ascends to a higher power. However, the use of magic addicts and if used in excess, ages the warlock. In the present days, four wizards teenage friends are in high school and their leader Caleb Danvers is close to his eighteenth birthday and consequently to ascend. He has just met Sarah Wenham and they are dating, when the appearance of darkling and supernatural dreams haunt the group. Sooner they find an evil warlock, descendant of the fifth ancient family that wants to strip Caleb's power. Written by Claudio Carvalho, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil (IMdb 2006)

This movie was as though it was assembled, not written or directed. I imagined a group of people at a table brainstorming what they would think was a cool excuse to get new teen stars in the same movie together. This brainstorming resulted in a Charmed with boys rip off that makes the show Charmed look like a good show.

I found myself really, I mean really wanting Werewolves in Nazi uniforms with lazer rifles mowing down the entire cast.

This is 86 minutes of my life I will never get back. This flick Got a cable rating based on previews but I will save you time and give it a NO NO NO not even.